BABY, OH NO!
I can’t believe you sent me flowers! It’s not even
apology season! When you got that audition w/
the Suicide Girls, did life lose all meaning & reason?
Tube socks are not the same thing as tuberoses!
That’s enough epistemology! What are you wearing
& will you be hiring a cosmetologist? Careful
there, stranger--that’s not my leg! It’s a dangerous
liaison! Liaison dangereuse to you Mademoiselle!
Are you actually French, or did you just travel abroad
aboard the Bon Voyage cruise for reformed voyeuses?
If there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s a fraud, &
these flowers are as plastic as the day is long!
Are you humming “Hits from the Bong”?! Cypress
Hill is insane in the membrane! Why say cannabis?
B/c I can(nabis)! These pot brownies are fantastic!
Your dad’s recipe? That’s mantastic! If I asked
you to hold me, would you scold me? If I asked,
would you mold me into your solid gold baby?
& throw me in the river? Save me, I’m drowning!
I’m a lover not a swimmer! This clowning can’t
be what they meant by “love”? Rants & raves
leave U a slave 4 trends, but I’m a Slave 4 U!
I’m still using the word “heart” as a verb! Words
sometimes fail me so I have to <3 <3 <3 U!
Why do we do the things we do? Do the dew!
I thought Red Bull really gave you wings, but
maybe that was just a marketing thing? I’m kind of
wishing maybe the wings were you? Being an angel?
I’m like the QUEEN of wishful thinking! Bow
before my majesty, but put on that Bow Wow Wow
tape first! What do you mean, what for? I want candy!